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the fool who got played

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I'm still alive. [25 Apr 2012|02:52am]
Went to my first LARP event in New Hampshire, enjoyed it very much. Have some pretty rad friends, hang out in Providence whenever I can nowadays.

Have been experiencing horrific bouts of depression that end with me falling asleep cuddling up with my dog.

Will try to update this more often.

My tumblr is http://biasanduntrue.tumblr.com/ and http://weighyoudown.tumblr.com/
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.tuesday sketchdump [14 Dec 2010|04:59pm]
bunch of shozo stuff

[i have heard a mashup with gaga and spice girls, my life is complete]Collapse )
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.tuesday sketch [30 Nov 2010|11:51pm]
revisiting werewolf character j.d. collins

fuck ljcuts :colbert:

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.an essay on My Winter [24 Nov 2010|04:07am]
(by that i mean shozo because gee golly gosh this FUCKING CHARACTER)

[the nature of a hurricane]Collapse )

bluhbluhbluh I can't really think of anything else to say. This probably is fucking INSANE shit. So, enjoy that?
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.(you dont know me at all) [23 Nov 2010|03:08pm]
beep boop i spent three hours on this last night what the hell

[Taoka Shozo, drawn while listening to Ben Folds]Collapse )
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.empty child [01 Nov 2010|05:08pm]
are you my mummy

(i froze my ass off in Salem on Halloween wearing this.)
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.one week [20 Aug 2010|05:01pm]
So, it's been one week since I received my first shot of T. I'm not particularly one to base hormonal things after a week of use(it's usually something like a two week deal), but it's hard not to when I'm actually noticing different things.

Like an increase in acne oh god this is horrific. It's not particularly bad, it's just suddenly happening a lot more frequently than it does with just synthroid(which seems to lock me into some perpetual teenager thing). I'm extremely unhappy with suddenly looking a little gross, so I have to figure out what the hell to use on my face when I go in on Wednesday.

Also, my attitude seems to be adjusting a bit. Nothing too outrageous, but my temper sucks more now and my energy levels are through the roof. I was also a lot happier, up until a bit ago but that's not attributed to the hormone treatment. With the energy being so high I've found that it's easier for me to do situps(it's weird, I haven't heard my rib pop at all) and it's a lot more fun to pick up heavy stuff.

As far as I know, no difference to voice. This is to be expected. My throat gets a little weird sometimes, sorta scratchy and tickly and it feels like I have to cough but I don't.


As an aside, someone come here and punch me in the fucking dick for feeling like I have to feel bad for Jen dumping me. Yeah, it hurts to see her name around but what asshole is still haunted by his ex? It's pathetic.

..as another aside, someone in Mass get me a hookup for some pot, and I'll be in your debt.
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.the icon is appropriate [12 Aug 2010|04:17pm]

seriously my entry could just be THAT over and over again. i got a shot. i got the major shot.

it was painful and right into a muscle. and some T leaked out(normal) which made me go :,( because I don't want to ever waste T.





(this does not take away my sadness of not being able to attend Celebration V. .. can one of you friends pick up a T-shirt or something for me? :( )
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.NY excuse [02 Aug 2010|08:02pm]
(reminder: everyone listen to Justice or The Knife or I'll fucking find you and look angry at you)

I've realized I don't really post much art anymore. I still do it, yeah, but it's more like I know I won't get responses to it so I never show it. But I've begun sketching crap out again, mostly in the offchance thrives revs up a writing engine and steamrolls through writing something, then goes back into writing hibernation.

So p much I'm just gonna dump whatever I've done so far up in this entry as a late sunday sketchdump. it's not much, like four or five sketches. very small sketchdump now.

[so much shitty art]Collapse )
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.july 29th [29 Jul 2010|09:31pm]
[originally posted in the trans megathread at Something Awful]

I went to Fenway Medical Center today to meet with Dr Hooton and get some stuff out of the way, mostly my bloodwork before I start up on T. Being the panicky dude I am, I slept all of maybe 30 minutes last night and I wasn't really running on much this morning - fasting, no synthroid, and that no sleep thing? Not awesome. I'm also That Retard who walks from Arlington to Back Bay Fens.

Dr Hooton was extremely nice, though, and she wasn't what I was expecting. I got my first of three hep shots as well, as I like to be careful, and Dr Hooton suggested I [b]get a pap smear[/b] (/sob) . That's not something I wish on any transguy, it was.. it was terrifying, and I couldn't stop laughing.

Now I get to sit back and wait for the 12th, when I get my blood test results and very likely start [b]testosterone[/b].

(She was also surprised I hadn't already taken T. Am I seriously THAT fukken masculine)


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.monthly update [27 Jun 2010|11:29pm]
almost forgot to make this!


¬ I'm no longer living with the insanely fabulous thrives - since around the 16th I've relocated back to my hometown of Gloucester, MA to live with an aunt and uncle in their crazy almost-mansion. I'm torn because my opportunities here are endless and it's pretty fucking artsy.. but I really, really miss Val. I didn't realize how much I would miss that homo.

¬ I'll be getting my bloodwork done at a local medical center, and the bloodwork is in regards to -- my hormone replacement treatment yaaaay. The bloodwork is the 6th of July, and my HRT appointment is set for the 30th of July. I'm well on my way to becoming the man I feel like.

¬ Interview get! for a local upscale restaurant that is opening a giftshop to cater to the Whale Watch crowds that they get in the morning. so I'm lucky that I don't have to worry about waitressing, because I would have been horrible.

¬ Fiesta weekend ended today! This is a BIG DEAL since i havent experienced St Peter's Fiesta up here since I was, like, 8. Met so many people that know my dad but that I don't know.

¬ Am worried about having to come out as trans to my extended family. I won't have to worry too much with voice deepening, but I'm unsure how facial hair will play off with them. Best I can do is until that point, be involved in their lives so they dont have a reason to just dump me.
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.monthly update [27 May 2010|07:07pm]
what to do in current situation:


¬ I've been going to Fenway Medical since late April, I guess. I was recently Approved to begin hormone treatment for the transgender thing, so long as I get bloodwork and some other tests done and sent to there. Then, I'll meet with a person who will make sure I understand, and I'll get 6 months worth of testosterone.

¬ Depression still fluctuating, which is never a good thing. I can go from having a great day to remembering that I'm still missing something, and then I get angry and depressed with myself. I'm better than I was November/December, though.

¬ No longer attending San Diego Comic-con this year, in favor of being a costumed volunteer for Star Wars Celebration V. Truthfully, I only wanted to go to SDCC for the swag, and I deeply hate the convention for how Industry it became. Just wanted to see some friends I never get to see otherwise.

¬ Still unemployed. See bullet #2 for my feelings on this.

and I think that's pretty much all you need to know that happened between April 27th and May 27th.
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.update [31 Mar 2010|12:50pm]
+ made it to mansfield alright, been chillaxin with my homeboyz val and stacey
- who are both stressing the fuck out because of anime boston
- which is this weekend

- and i still haven't started on a new armor mounting vest oops
- and i think i have to stand in a huge fuckoff line on friday morning to pay $50 for a conbadge

+ but i'm getting a goddamn hotdog on thursday.

since i keep forgetting i still have this journal, but i think some of my flist are going, my phone number is 7728124552. send me a text or whatevs
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. [02 Mar 2010|07:17pm]
Some of you may have noticed that I've sorta cleared out my flist - I'm really only keeping on artists journals.

I'm pretty much leaving this journal. Not replacing it, just leaving it - I may make some entries for myself to remember conventions, or to put up pictures of some work, but I'm really not interested in keeping an lj anymore. It's brought me a lot of friends, it's brought me girlfriends and heartbreak and really, I wouldn't be the person I am without this. I'm not deleting the journal purely because of these reasons.

I probably have more reasons to up and leave, but I've spent so long making so many entries. I like keeping my reasons to myself.


aim: machinegrease
skype: fallvctm
art: (deviantart) truckface
twitter: crooooooow
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